The Power of Saying What Needs to Be Said: How to Communicate Effectively and Authentically in Life and Work

Communication is vital for success in life and work. But sometimes, we avoid saying what needs to be said because we are afraid or unsure. What is the cost of not speaking up? What problems could we prevent or solve if we had the courage to say what we think and feel?

In this blog post, I will explore some of the things that are not being said right now that need to be said, and how saying them can benefit us and others. I will also share some tips and strategies on how to say what needs to be said in a respectful and constructive way.

Why We Don’t Say What Needs to Be Said

There are many reasons why we don’t say what needs to be said. Some of them are:

• Fear of rejection, criticism, conflict, or consequences.

• Lack of confidence, clarity, or skill.

• Uncertainty about the outcome or impact.

• Discomfort with the topic or the person.

• Respect for privacy, boundaries, or norms.

• Desire to avoid hurting someone’s feelings or damaging a relationship.

These reasons are understandable and valid. However, they can also prevent us from expressing ourselves authentically and effectively. They can also create misunderstandings, resentment, frustration, confusion, or missed opportunities.

What Is Not Being Said Right Now That Needs to Be Said

I think there are many things that are not being said right now that need to be said. Things that could improve our performance, relationships, self-esteem, social impact, and personal growth. Things like:

• How we feel about our work, our colleagues, our bosses, our clients, our projects, our goals, our challenges, our achievements.

• How we feel about our family, our friends, our partners, our children, our parents, our siblings, our relatives.

• How we feel about ourselves, our strengths, our weaknesses, our passions, our dreams, our fears, our hopes.

• How we feel about the issues that matter to us, such as politics, religion, social justice, environment, education, health, culture, etc.

• How we feel about the feedback we receive or give, the praise we get or offer, the criticism we face or deliver.

• How we feel about the conflicts we encounter or cause, the misunderstandings we experience or create, the disagreements we have or initiate.

These are just some examples of things that are not being said right now that need to be said. Of course, there are many more. And of course, saying these things is not easy. It requires courage and skill. But it is worth it.

The Benefits of Saying What Needs to Be Said

By saying what needs to be said:

• We can communicate effectively and authentically. We can express our thoughts and feelings clearly and honestly. We can avoid ambiguity and confusion. We can make ourselves understood and respected.

• We can understand and respect others and ourselves. We can listen to others’ perspectives and opinions. We can empathize with their emotions and experiences. We can appreciate their strengths and contributions. We can acknowledge their weaknesses and challenges.

• We can contribute to positive change and social impact. We can raise awareness and inspire action on the issues that matter to us. We can challenge the status quo and advocate for justice and equality. We can support and empower others who share our vision and values.

• We can prevent or resolve conflicts and problems. We can address the root causes and not just the symptoms. We can find solutions that work for everyone involved. We can repair broken trust and restore harmony.

• We can learn and grow as individuals and as a collective. We can gain new insights and perspectives. We can discover new opportunities and possibilities. We can develop new skills and competencies. We can improve our performance and productivity.

How to Say What Needs to Be Said

Saying what needs to be said is not just about what we say but also how we say it. Here are some tips and strategies on how to say what needs to be said in a respectful and constructive way:

• Know your purpose and intention. Before you say anything, ask yourself: Why do I want to say this? What do I hope to achieve by saying this? How will this benefit me or others? Be clear about your goal and motivation.

• Choose the right time and place. Timing and context are important factors in communication. Choose a time when you and the other person are calm and focused. Choose a place where you have privacy and minimal distractions. Avoid saying something when you are angry or emotional.

• Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements. “I” statements express your own thoughts and feelings without blaming or accusing the other person. “You” statements imply criticism or judgment of the other person’s behaviour or character. For example: “I feel hurt when you don’t listen to me” instead of “You never listen to me”.

• Be specific and factual instead of vague and general. Specific and factual statements provide concrete examples and evidence of what you are saying. Vague and general statements can be interpreted in different ways and can lead to misunderstandings. For example: “I noticed that you missed the deadline for the report” instead of “You are always late”.

• Use positive and constructive language instead of negative and destructive language. Positive and constructive language focuses on the desired outcome and the possible solutions. Negative and destructive language focuses on the problem and the blame. For example: “How can we improve our communication?” instead of “You have a communication problem”.

• Listen actively and empathetically. Listening is as important as speaking in communication. Listening actively means paying attention to what the other person is saying, without interrupting or judging. Listening empathetically means trying to understand the other person’s point of view, feelings, and needs, without agreeing or disagreeing.

• Seek feedback and clarification. Feedback and clarification are essential for ensuring that your message is received and understood correctly. Seek feedback by asking the other person to repeat or summarize what you said, or by asking them how they feel or what they think about what you said. Seek clarification by asking questions or paraphrasing what the other person said, or by asking them to explain or elaborate on what they said.

• Acknowledge and appreciate. Acknowledgment and appreciation are powerful ways to build rapport and trust with the other person. Acknowledge the other person’s thoughts and feelings, even if you don’t agree with them. Appreciate the other person’s efforts and contributions, even if they are not perfect.

Communication is vital for success in life and work. But sometimes, we avoid saying what needs to be said because we are afraid or unsure. However, there are many things that are not being said right now that need to be said and saying them can benefit us and others in many ways.

Saying what needs to be said is not easy, but it is possible. By following some tips and strategies, we can say what needs to be said in a respectful and constructive way.

So, let’s say what needs to be said.

Let’s say it with courage and kindness.

Let’s say it with clarity and compassion.

Let’s say it with intention and integrity.

And let’s see what happens when we do.